Parents Who Lost Their Children – Message of Comfort

I hear your cry! I weep with you! I feel your pain!

I pray that this short narrative will not only comfort you but will also help heal the wounds in your soul.

For many years I have been a Christian working for the Lord, I never could have explained the death of a child to anybody. However, when I had to face the pain of the incident of loss, the Lord answered me through the Holy Spirit.

The unfortunate incident that happened in my family taught me a different lesson about life.

When my grandson Gabriel was born and lived for less than 24 hours, I was devastated.

The Lord revealed the vision of the child to me even before my daughter-in-law was able to confirm her pregnancy.

Did God Fail? This is perhaps the question of many Christian parents who have lost a child either through natural death, accident, or violence.
 

My wife called me from the hospital and said, “Gabriel Vidal did not make it!”

It was as if my entire world collapsed under my feet.

As a Pastor, what could I tell the two congregations I pastor?

I ran to the hospital to comfort my son who was weeping uncontrollably.

For the next three to six months, I was in so much emotional pain and people who saw me knew something went wrong.
 

As a Pastor, you want to wear a smiling face for everybody and every day.

But it was very difficult for me.

From the Midwest AME Conference in September 2023 to the St. Louis AME Conference in October 2023, I was submerged in sorrow.
A couple of times during both conferences I had to excuse myself from the conference hall and go to my hotel room. I was on my knees weeping.
 

I tried to hide my grieving process from other pastors, but my emotional pain was revealed through my face.

One day, I was so angry, not necessarily at God, but at the incident itself that I lost my grandson!

I told my son, “God failed me!”

Later, I had to apologize for that statement based on what the Holy Spirit revealed to me the following day.

As I got up the following day, the Holy Spirit started talking to me.

He said, “God did not fail in his Purpose, his Will, and his Promise.”
 

Following this it was made clear to me that regardless of what we wish about our human expectations, God does not have to honor such, even preventing a child from dying.

This explanation was the beginning of my healing.

I was also told through the frequency of divine messages from the Lord.

"Baby Gabriel came as a messenger. He already accomplished his purpose," even though he lived for less than 24 hours.

 

Months later, it was also revealed to me that the only thing given to us that is ours by God Almighty is LIFE. The rest of what we acquire on earth, whether money, power, material things, fame, or family members, all are given to us on borrowed time. Sooner or later if we are not taken from them, they will be taken from us.
 

Psalm 24:1 says, “The earth is the Lord's, and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.”

Do we own anything because everything belongs to God?

If everything we have is rented to us on a temporary basis, who are we to challenge the giver of life when he takes something away from us?

When David made King Saul angry, the king went to David’s house, took back his daughter, and gave her to another man.

I Samuel 25:44  “But Saul had given Michal his daughter, David's wife, to Phalti the son of Laish, which was of Gallim.”  

Such behavior is illegal today even if the son-in-law makes the father-in-law angry, he cannot take his married daughter and give her to another man.

During those days, it was an acceptable practice when some husbands were punished with humiliation by taking their wives and giving them to other men for some time. How cruel?

 

If a human being is capable of taking the gift back, why do we judge God for taking away what we borrowed from him?

St. Matthew 21:33-46 Jesus illustrated human behavior in the parable of the landowner. Yes, it was about the parable of Jesus getting ready to go to the cross. It also illustrates how selfish humans can be to take personal possession of what belongs to another person.

Then the landowner responded when those who rented the Vineyard refused to pay rent, beat up the rent collector, and ended up killing the owner’s son. He only came to collect rent for his Daddy! Sadly, so many people on earth today are living in the Vineyard of God for free and refuse to pay rent to God.
 

In Matthew 21:41 The owner (which is God in this parable) responded.
“They say unto him, He will miserably destroy those wicked men, and will let out his vineyard unto other husbandmen, which shall render him the fruits in their seasons.”

Understand that everything we possess in this world, we borrow from God. At a point and time, does he have the right to request them back?

 

The process of healing from emotional wounds is to get closer to the Lord and spend more time in his presence – Psalm 16:11. That was what I did and helped me to heal from the agony of losing a grandchild.

There is nothing wrong with grieving when we experience a loss.

However, we should not make grieving a lifestyle or grieve ourselves to death.
 

Life is a journey. We celebrate when we win. We weep when we lose.

Both losing and winning are part of life.

Success brings us joy and failure brings us tears.
They are opposite sides of the same coin called life.

A failure is a temporary setback for a giant comeback, by choice.

Behind the cloud, the sun still shines.

We only see better days with positive expectations.

Tears may end the night, but Joy comes in the morning.

Quitters never win and winners never quit.

Determination can command Peace from within with the indwelling of the love of God by the Holy Spirit.

 

Facing life challenges is not about submerging ourselves in sorrow over what we lost, but about using the loss as a pivotal spring for a better tomorrow and leaving a positive legacy to those coming behind us.

This is why this “YPD Youth Conference 2024” on Saturday, July 23, 2024, is so important. Join and support the campaign! We can train and campaign to this young generation by what we model to them, and why they should get their education and be trained in good job skills. Teach them to stop school bullying, never engage in criminal behavior or settle scores with violence. Learn to control your emotions. Be a drum major for peace and what is right. Work towards being a productive member of society! Be a good example for others!

Life is a gift from God. Whatever you make out of it, is your gift back to God.

If you have fallen, you can still rise again. There is always a better tomorrow.
 

Rev. Victor Vidal, Pastor, Grant Lovell and Bethel AME Churches, Moberly and Macon, MO

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AMEC 2024 General Conference in Florida

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